I grew up in a typical American family in the 70s and 80s.  I'm a typical middle child--I didn't rock the boat or step outside the lines.  My older sister was thin, athletic, and the "cheerleader type."   I was none of those things.   I spent many hours hanging out  at the local YMCA as a kid while my mom worked the concession stand for gymnastics meets that my sister competed in.  Along with so many other moms in the 80s, she was popping Dexatrim and trying to diet her way to self-approval with endless rounds of on-again-off-again diet cycles.  While hanging out waiting for gymnastics to end,  I would kill time walking to the library (remember when kids just roamed freely without a care--those were the days!), play around on some of the nautilus equipment, hang out at my Great Aunt Peg's apartment down the street where we would play endless rounds of rummy and eat candy,  or my favorite: hang out in the ladies locker room playing with the machines that were supposed to magically melt fat away--a long strap you put around your waist or butt or whatever, and turned on the machine to have the strap jiggle your everything until poof! you were skinny.  Or not.    I liked learning, watching TV, riding bikes, and playing board games with my neighbor friend.  My best friends were a lot like me--we were the "good girls."    Little did I know that Good Girl Syndrome was helping steer me straight into the jaws of diet culture.  

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I went on my first diet when I was about 12.  It was the cabbage soup diet.  That was the first of many many attempts to lose weight in an effort to feel good and fit in.   There was Slim Fast, the grapefruit diet, calorie counting, Weight Watchers (several iterations--every time they changed the program I was sure that would be the tweak I had needed all along), and the list goes on.  For years, no--decades--I thought that the key to happiness and feeling like I had my shit together was through fixing my body to fit the thin ideal.   When my third child was born--my first and only daughter--I decided I was going to "get a grip" on my weight struggles once and for all so that I could be the role model she deserved.  When my weight loss stalled a few months into my latest Weight Watchers diet, I started adding exercise to try to get the scale moving.  With three little kids and career as a Speech-Language Pathologist, I had to get creative to find ways to fit it in.   I did Richard Simmons VHS tapes.  Looking back, I have to thank Richard.  Goofy as he was, he showed me that exercise can have a light-hearted party feel to it.  And that you didn't have to be a certain size or ability level to participate.  I then branched out into some other VHS workouts, including step aerobics and some dumbbell workouts I did from the comfort of my living room.  I also started walking, then jogging, to my WW meetings which were about a mile away.  I achieved my goal weight, and of course, I eventually gained the weight back again.  But something happened along the way:  I started enjoying exercise for exercise's sake, even when the scale didn't reward me with lower numbers.  I noticed I had more patience with my kids, more confidence, and less anxiety when I made time to move my body regularly.   And that burgeoning love for fitness would go on to change my life.  

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I eventually left my job as an SLP to stay home and raise my kids.  That afforded me the opportunity to delve into fitness wholeheartedly.  I've worn many hats in the fitness world, including:  Spin Instructor, Group Fitness Instructor, Running Coach (I started a group for people brand new to running and helped many achieve goals like running their first 5K or half marathon), Triathlon Coach, Walking Group leader, Pilates Instructor, and Personal Trainer/Strength Coach.  Along the way, I made some friends who are still some of my best friends today.   I'm a human biology junkie at heart, and exercise science has scratched that itch for me for over two decades.  I've worked with all kinds of women (and men), and my goal has always been to help people who have never considered themselves able to pursue fitness goals discover their own untapped potential and discover all of the "other" benefits of exercise.  Moving my body is absolutely essential for maintaining my sanity, and the impact on helping me manage stress and process all the emotions that come with being a busy wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, and human.  

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Along the way, I also pursued education and became a Certified Health Coach and Nutrition Coach.  I was entrenched in diet culture at the time, and I "helped" women achieve their weight loss and body composition goals through offering nutrition guidance and a group strength training program.  At some point around 2018, I had begun to walk away from dieting prior to the pandemic, and when the world and my years-long gym routine came to a screeching halt in 2020 with the onset of the pandemic, I, like so many others, took the opportunity to widen the lens on my life and take a good hard look at where I'd been, where I was, and where I wanted to go.  Prior to the pandemic, I had dabbled in Intuitive Eating.  I read the book, did some of the workbook exercises, and had loosened the reigns on my rigid food rules to a decent degree.  It wasn't until I went all-in with Intuitive Eating that I truly transformed my relationship with food and exercise.  Gone are the days of using apps or doing all the mental math of counting macros.  I no longer decide if I'm hungry or full based on what I ate last, the time of day, or if/how much I worked out.  The scale is in the attic, saved only for when I need to weigh my dogs to give them medicine.  I can finally say that my worth has nothing to do with the size and shape of my body, and it's maybe the least interesting thing about me.  I enjoy walking my dogs, hiking, lifting weights, and yoga, but I have no rigid rules around when/how much/or how intense workouts need to be. I simply make time for them because I enjoy them and they help support my health.  I'm a lifelong learner and I dedicate a lot of time to honing my knowledge and skills in the realm of skill building that can be used to help women build strength, gain mobility, and enjoy all the benefits from having the physical ability to do hard things in the gym, at home, or out in the real world so that they can do all the things they want in their lives with relative ease and comfort.  I'm now a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, and I'm proud to be part of the solution when it comes to dismantling diet culture and freeing women from it's grips for their sakes and for the generations of girls to come.  When we set ourselves free, we forge a path for them to follow.  

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A few random things about me:

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* I raise health tested Goldendoodles and Tibetan Terriers.  I grew up with parents who showed, bred, and loved Tibetan Terriers, and I always knew I wanted to raise puppies.  I'm not into dog showing--I do my best to raise ideal family companions and preserve the health and temperament of the two breeds I love.  I only raise an average of two litters per year, and rearing puppies has taught me a lot about what being flexible with health and wellness looks like.  Those little buggers are demanding! 

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*I am a ridiculously early riser.  I've never been one to sleep in, but thanks to a years-long early morning gym routine and the joys of perimenopausal sleep disruption, I'm up way before the crack of dawn.  The bright side is that this is my favorite time of day--I read, journal, meditate and just enjoy being still before the demands of the day come into focus.  The trade off is that I'm utterly useless after 6 pm, unless of course you invite me to dinner. :)

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*I love baking and my daughter has taught me the basics of sourdough baking this year.  I also love eating baked goods :) 

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*My husband and I enjoy going to wineries and breweries with friends.  Nothing beats a cold beer or glass of chardonnay with friends sharing charcuterie with a beautiful view.    

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*I lift weights at my local YMCA.  Once I learned and mastered the fundamentals of weight lifting, I realized my long held assumption that the meat heads at the gym were all super knowledgeable and skilled in the weight room so I had good reason to feel intimidated or like I shouldn't be there.  Now I enjoy showing up, taking up space, and doing my own thing without a care what anyone thinks of it or me.  I'm even friends with a few of the guys at the gym.   I like to see all of the people older than me showing up and having fun taking care of their health while getting that critical social connection time we all need.  P.S. Did you know that lack of social connection is actually a much stronger predictor of early mortality than BMI?   It's true! 

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Whew!  That was a lot.  Thanks for sticking it out.  I don't hold anything back.  This is personal work, and I wouldn't expect anyone to trust me with their story if I wasn't also willing to share mine.  If you'd like to bend my ear and get some things off of your chest when it comes to the impact dieting and body image have had on your life and see if working with me might be a good fit, I'd love to chat.  Book a free session and discover what's been holding you back, how to take those first or next steps toward Intuitive Eating, and decide for yourself if working with a coach like me can help you along that path.